New York Nikonian

Shit. Just. Got. Real!

As I sit here in this great state of North Carolina. In this big, beautiful house. I’m reminded that…my family will never be able to settle here. In light of recent…brilliant developments…in this clusterfuck of moral hypocrisy of a state…my wife and I will be treated like…spawns of satan…because we love eachother…but…one of us was not born with a penis. The horror! Because we believe that love can ACTUALLY occur without the presence of a penis?! *clutches my pearls and fans my face*

Lemme tell you a story…

So, when I was younger and still working out the fact that I love woman on more than an experimental level…I came across a movie on television: If These Walls Could Talk. One segment of the movie focused on an elderly woman who had just lost her life-long partner. They shared a home, they had…things, they’d built a life together. The woman was barely dealing with losing the love of her life when the deceased woman’s children/family came in to settle their mother’s affairs. They decided to sell the house that these women have shared since…forever. Everything that was in their mother’s name, they planned to liquidate. The remaining partner was helpless. She couldn’t do anything but stand idly by while the rest of her life was totally destroyed. She lost her wife…now her home…and anything else that she didn’t have her name on. Naturally, seeing this left me feeling devastated. My heart ached for this woman because, even though this was a fictional story, there are countless stories like this. I decided then and there that that this would never happen to me. I’d make sure that wherever my wife and I decided to settle down, BOTH of our names would be on everything! And we’d have wills that said that in the event that one of us passes away, the remaining partner has total control over the estate.

It took me a while to come out to my family. I was 27 when I did…but I’ve had girlfriends since 4th grade, minus that period in high school when I dated boys because…that was “what I was supposed to be doing” as a teenaged girl. My heart was never in it. Anyway, when I finally did come out, I was completely independent. Living in my own apartment, with my own car, paying my own bills, not depending on my parents for anything. My mother was my biggest hurdle. When I was about 17 she approached me asking me if I liked girls and I denied it vehemently because…stuff like this doesn’t happen in my family. The expectation of me was to meet dudes, get married, have kids, spend the rest of my life with the dude raising the kids, just the way the good Lord intended…happiness not required. After that, my mom gave me SUCH a hard time. I did like girls of course, one in particular, my BFF. After our discussion, my mother made life for us a living hell. It was almost impossible for us to spend any time together because whenever we did, it was such a problem. Coming out to her was not an option. I’d always felt like, if I told my mother that I was gay, I’d have to be prepared to live the rest of my life without my mother. I wholeheartedly believed that she would disown me! When I finally did come out, I was at the point in my life that folk were gonna love me or leave me the fuck alone. So I told them. It was weird at first…but…my mom has since become my number one supporter and my biggest advocate. My mom outs me to more people than I do! It’s almost like she’s proud! LOL! Anyway, once I told my mom…and SHE was okay with me…everyone else can pretty much kiss my whole entire ass if they don’t like the fact that I love women…cuz…my mama know!

Since coming out to my family…my mom…I adopted the attitude that NObody was gonna tell me what to do…who to love…how to live my life. When I decided to settle down, I’d throw my woman over my shoulder and we’d walk off into the sunset to go somewhere to be fuckin awesome and everybody that don’t like it can suck monster monkey balls! Cuz…my mama know! I didn’t give a shit about these bullshit laws and amendments because…I’m gonna be me REGARDLESS. I don’t care what anyone thinks or feels about it. Now…the idea of me settling down seemed like a joke to me. Because…these heterosexual marriages…they aren’t exactly the glowing examples of moral integrity that the church and politics tell us that they are, you know? A good portion of them are pretty fucked up and flawed like shit! But then…I met her. And shit. just. got. real!

I’m going to marry my beautiful girlfriend….and we’re going to have children…maybe three. Two girls, and a boy…if I can convince her to do this THREE times LOL! We’re going to have us a little tribe…and they…like their parents…will be amazing. They will grow up in a home full of love and nurturing. They won’t be taught to believe that they’re a part of some twisted science experiment or are only here cuz their parents weren’t hugged enough as children. They will know that mommy and papi were and are two educated, mentally stable, independently awesome, morally grounded individuals that met and fell in love…like “normal” people do. They will know that they are born into a family of greatness and that great artists, musicians, painters, singers, photographers, etc, came before them. They will know that they are expected to do great things as well. My baby and I are going to grow old together. And when we’re no longer here, our children will be well taken care of. NOW…I HAVE to pay attention to the laws and amendments and shit cuz fuckas like some of these backwards ass folks in North Carolina (not all…just some)…this state where you can marry your own first cousin and almost certainly have mentally delayed children…O_o…get to make decisions that effect what the fuck I can do with my own family.

Shit. Just. Got. Real!

My baby can’t live in New York. She can’t breathe here. But if I have to bring her home to live in a plastic bubble and ship air in from the highest mountain peak for her to be able to breathe while Brooklynn is simmering…so be it. Because I’ll be damned if ANY backwoods, cousin marrying asshole will be able to take this moment from me. Fuck them Jones’, I’m tryna keep up with the Tuckers! Word.

Shit. Just. Got. Real.

This. Little. Kid. Is. A. BOSS!!!!

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And in my Skype…

…she’s smiling that smile that I’ve been waiting all day to see.  winning….